Funeral dress code – what to wear to a funeral

If you’re attending a funeral but can’t locate a dress code for it, there’s no need to panic while overthinking service colors and etiquette. Selecting an outfit can be simple for whatever type of service you’re attending.

Funeral and memorial services

At traditional funerals, attendees dress similarly to signify unity and respect in mourning. The traditional dress code is often what first comes to mind when picturing a funeral: for this service, you’ll want to wear black formal attire. This includes suits with ties, dresses, blouses, and knee-length/long skirts.

Many services still follow this tradition, however, relaxed funeral dress codes are becoming more accepted. For this dress code, consider wearing “business casual” attire with a collared shirt, blouse, dress pants/chinos, or knee-length/long skirt. The traditional black is still acceptable, but a relaxed funeral dress code offers more freedom to wear a range of muted colors.

These rules also apply to wakes, viewings, and the committal service. If the committal is outside, be sure to wear comfortable walking shoes. The best footwear for services with a traditional or relaxed dress code would be simple dress shoes, pumps, or flats.

What to avoid wearing at funeral and memorial services:

• Athletic/athleisure attire
• Casual attire (t-shirts, jeans, shorts, etc.)
• Casual footwear (sandals, sneakers, flip-flops, etc.)
• Clothes that are flashy or vibrant/colorful
• Attention-grabbing statement pieces

Celebration of Life

You typically won’t find mourning attire at a Celebration of Life – instead, these ceremonies will vary from person to person, depending on how the family wants to honor their loved one.

Families may invite attendees to wear lighthearted attire, their best outfits, athletic or career uniforms, or even costumes. If you are planning a Celebration of Life and want your attendees to wear a special outfit, be sure to communicate your request often and well in advance of the ceremony.

If you are attending a Celebration of Life and can’t locate a dress code for it, the best course of action is to follow the relaxed funeral dress code.

Religious services

With any funeral, dressing modestly is always the safest option; this is especially true for religious funerals. Religious funerals can be steeped with rituals, so it’s important to respect the wishes of the bereaved family and their loved one. Here are the general expectations of three major U.S. religions:

Catholic and Christian funerals
When attending a Catholic Funeral Mass, it’s best to wear black or dark formal attire. Review this blog from the Catholic Cemeteries of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia for details. On the other hand, other Christian funeral traditions vary – at some churches, attendees will wear all black or white, while others follow the relaxed dress code. Typically, the family will communicate their preferences beforehand. If you can’t find their preferences, it would be best to contact the funeral director or the family if you feel comfortable doing so.

Islamic funerals
Islamic services have specific requirements. According to the Islamic Circle of North America, “Men are typically expected to wear simple, modest clothing, such as a suit or slacks with a shirt. Women should wear long, loose-fitting garments that cover the arms and legs, and a headscarf is often appreciated as a sign of respect, though it may not be required.” It is recommended to wear dark, muted colors.

Jewish funerals
For attending a Jewish funeral, My Jewish Learning recommends an ankle-length dress for women and a coat and tie for men. Men may wear a kippah or yarmulke, and women may wear a head covering. Black and dark clothing is traditional, but other, muted colors are also acceptable.

Considerations for religious services:

• Do not wear clothing that is revealing, tight-fitting, or vibrant.
• Avoid wearing flashy or bold accessories.
• At Islamic funerals, you may be asked to remove your shoes if entering a prayer room, so be sure to wear regular socks.
• At Buddhist funerals, you’ll want to avoid wearing red (including accessories/makeup), as this is seen as inappropriate.

Keep in mind that each religion, and sects within those religions, may observe funeral rites in different ways. What is considered a rule for one denomination may be a recommendation for another.

If you have any questions or concerns about dressing for a religious funeral, reach out to the funeral home or worship center that is hosting the service.

Exceptions

Depending on the traditions of the bereaved, select attendees may wear unique outfits or accessories.

• Family members may wear sunglasses indoors, ribbons, yarmulkes, armbands, mourning pins, t-shirts with portraits, or gloves for pallbearing.
• Choir/band members and clergy may wear special attire.
• Service members may be in uniform.

If you have questions about the dress code or the service in general, don’t hesitate to contact the funeral home that is arranging the services. If the funeral director doesn’t have the dress code available, they can check with the family and pass along the information to you and other attendees.

One rule is consistent when attending any type of funeral: Dress with consideration for the bereaved, the departed, and the sacred nature of the occasion, and your presence will be appreciated.

Sources:

What to Expect at a Muslim Funeral: A Guide for Non-Muslims

Going to a Jewish Funeral: What to Expect

Photo Source: moment of silent for expressing the condolence for respecting the lost of love one during mourning ceremony in funeral Stock photos by Vecteezy